I just got a hug that I didn't want.
Has that ever happened to you? You are an innocent, working quietly in a coffeeshop, focusing on your business and someone you see regularly walks toward you. You recognize him, but you don't know his name and it's too late to ask. You can expect that meaningless banter that makes you could the minutes until the conversation is over and you can get back to what you were doing in the first place.
THAT guy just walked up to me. He had already walked by once before with the usual, "hello beautiful, have you made that million bucks yet?" This was the second pass through. He came around the corner and slid his arm under mine and said something. I don't know what it was because I was thinking about something else. Should I jerk my arm away or will he move along without that non-verbal cue.
Whew. He did. But it got me thinking. About networking.
As social and in-person networking becomes more important, I think we do this to each other- ignoring boundaries and crashing through personal space. It's just harder to see these days. We get a card and without asking the owner, put the e-mail on a list. Or we laugh and try to assume some sort of relationship without during the work. Worse yet, we might go there, talking about our personal lives before the relationship can bear the weight.
I developed a rule of thumb for those of us who are just having a good time. Meaning no harm and yet, we need to remember, in the midst of our fun, we are still working at it. Developing relationships and a solid platform to achieve a vision.
The rule has three circles, one placed inside the other. Networking target practice.
The first is blue. When you walk up to someone and engage with them, you are in the blue zone if they don't push you away. It means you are going to be polite with each other while you figure out the nature of your relationships. Cards are exchanged at this point along with a very high level of information about your lives. What you do, where you live and a smattering about your personal life. You might even find out that you went to the same school or you are from the same time. May people may think at this point, 'we are connected now,' since the person accepted the link request or participated in a somewhat energetic conversation. But this is only the first step to networking. It's the blue zone. Good but nothing that will achieve results, either personally or professionally. You aren't getting invited to a breakfast club, a girl's night, or a child's birthday party. You are part of a positive experience but you are not IN.
The next circle in is green. If you have moved from blue to green, you have advanced further in the networking game. Now, the other person knows what you are about. Not only does he know what you do for a living or what your life is like personally, but they also know how, when, where, why you want to get there. The stage has been set for the next step. The opportunities have been laid out for reaction. If the other person has accepted more information in the green zone, and did not turn you away, you might get an invite to the barbeque or a referral to a colleague that might be of some use. Trust me, it takes work to get into the green zone. It's not just about creating a friendly backdrop for networking. It's also going to encompass YOU, your preparedness, your clarity of mission, your presentation, your intensity, your intention. You have to be ready to bring it when the moment is right. Remember, you are still not there. No one has said YES or NO. But it's nice. You are further along.
Last, but not least is the red zone. Decision time. It's where the relationship is solidified. You are in the know with this person. Hey! At this point, you can give that person a hug if you want, I think! And, in networking-speak, it's the moment when you ask the question. Here is a proposition, you might say, and here is how I see you in it. Are you willing to participate. You will brace yourself for the answer. If you hear no, you are going to either cruise along nursing that green relationship, waiting for another moment to work together or you are going to cool it and go back to blue. You will not stay long in the red zone. The red zone moments are for opportunists. The time is now.
As you go through your networking moments, those chance meetings on the sideline of your child's soccer game, a pass by at the local coffee shop, a shared cocktail at a networking event. Remember what you are doing. This is not the time for many casual conversation. Have purpose! Think about what you are doing and how it fits into the larger picture of your vision! Purposefully move through the blue, green and red zones as needed. Then you will never find yourself hugging someone in a coffee shop with a weird look on thier face.
No comments:
Post a Comment