Jealousy...it's not such a bad thing!

Jealousy...it's not such a bad thing!

I felt a pang of jealously recently. I got my shot of jealousy from a usual source. Facebook is a place for people to show the shiny success of their life without betraying themselves with eye contact. Even though I understand the easy falsehood of social networking, I still felt it. That person was going to do something I have always wanted to do. I’m known for wanting it. If she reads this, she’ll know what I’m talking about. And it was not going to be me that did it first. It would be her. Jealousy. Gross.

The stomach turning feeling of wanting something that someone has is not due to any sort of systemic distaste for my own life. My existence is a wild ride, taking me from a career that used 25% of my talents and required 75% of my energy pretending to be something I’m not. Each day, I leap out of bed and I wonder, what will happen next? What serendipity is going to deliver me another phase of my dream? It’s like being passed a really great note from God in class.

All this sounds good, right? How could I be jealous when I am so excited about what is going to happen next?

The initial knee-jerk reaction to the adult on-set of jealousy is to take two pills. One is a pill of gratitude (get it together and start being thankful for what you have). The other is a little shot of denial. You can’t be jealous, that would be make you downright pathetic.

Jealousy, that thing that makes you want what something else has, isn’t to be exorcised. It should be examined because it is a sign. A sign that what you have is not enough. It could be that you are insecure about something. Or perhaps the jealousy is showcasing a need for you to DO something. In my case, I had not done the work to accomplish what this other person had done. So whose fault was it that she had reached the finish line first? It could be telling you that the life that you have is not enough and you need to expand your perspective and your reach to more fully challenge your talents, your tolerance for risk, your experience.

Don’t push off jealousy as a phase or a sign of weakness. Figure out what is it telling you and do what you need to do. That other person may have something you want. Go and get it for yourself. Change what you need to change, move where you need to move and face the fears in front of you.

Maybe then you can focus on what YOU are doing, instead of what someone else is experiencing. I guarantee it will be more fun.

For more helpful resources, go to www.neadinspiration.com or e-mail Liz’s team at neadinspiration@aol.com. Change Your Vision, Change Your Life!