Want More Happiness? The choice is yours!

Want More Happiness? The choice is yours!

(Check out Liz Nead's video at the bottom talking about your choice for happiess!)

Do you remember your parents lecturing you, telling you to eat your broccoli, that there were children that would beg for broccoli? Have you ever told yourself to be grateful, to stop complaining, that your life as bad as others, that you have no right to complain?

Does it work? Does it make you feel thankful for what you have right now? Of course not!

Sure, you might be grateful for a few moments, as you notice your blessings, your fortunate circumstances. Most of the time, though, it doesn’t take long before something else grabs your attention. Your eyes and mind turn to what you want, what you don’t have, what you wish for.

If you are not this person, you have known something like this. Someone who just can’t focus on what they have. It is always about what could be better. There is always a wrong to glimpse. A spoiler to ruin what could be a positive existence.

You will face both pleasant circumstances and challenging situations. Sometimes life will seem easy and in other moments life will be hard for you. No matter what you think about the greener grass on the other side of the fence surrounding your world, it is the same for everyone. You only have to dig to find the sameness of conditions.

The only difference between you and the rest of the world is your perspective. Yes, there are places that are not fun because of war, poverty, lack of education and oppressive leadership. Of course if you live in a cute little house in the suburbs, it would be a preferable situation to the woman who lives in a mud hut in Tanzania without running water or state of the art medical care. You would be surprised at what your Tanzanian friend might say about your food, your home, your world. You prefer it because you know it.

Your happiness will not come from looking at someone else and telling yourself you have it good. You cannot sooth your soul by reminding yourself of the people in another country who don’t have what you have. You won’t appreciate your healthy children more by seeing unhealthy children. You won’t love your home more if you go to a smaller home. Those perspectives are temporary. The antidote to “comparative happiness” is to go to a bigger house, better kids, a nice place to live and suddenly you will feel irritated and underserved.

No, the best way to grab the happiness that is yours is to choose happiness. To choose to look at your husband and see what you love. To allow yourself to enjoy your friends instead of wishing for something better. To touch the softness of your well-worn couch and choose to remember good memories. To make a point of remember good times not bad times.

I promise if you choose to see and give credit to the good in any situation, you will find your heart full of gratitude for what you have. And you will ask yourself, grass? What grass? I love my life. It is mine.

If you enjoyed this blog, please enjoy the other resources at www.neadinspiration.com and listen to Liz's radio show at www.desmoineslocallive.com called "Skywalk Talk," from 11:00 to 12:30 cst, M-F. Liz wants to help you succeed!

Jealousy...it's not such a bad thing!

Jealousy...it's not such a bad thing!

I felt a pang of jealously recently. I got my shot of jealousy from a usual source. Facebook is a place for people to show the shiny success of their life without betraying themselves with eye contact. Even though I understand the easy falsehood of social networking, I still felt it. That person was going to do something I have always wanted to do. I’m known for wanting it. If she reads this, she’ll know what I’m talking about. And it was not going to be me that did it first. It would be her. Jealousy. Gross.

The stomach turning feeling of wanting something that someone has is not due to any sort of systemic distaste for my own life. My existence is a wild ride, taking me from a career that used 25% of my talents and required 75% of my energy pretending to be something I’m not. Each day, I leap out of bed and I wonder, what will happen next? What serendipity is going to deliver me another phase of my dream? It’s like being passed a really great note from God in class.

All this sounds good, right? How could I be jealous when I am so excited about what is going to happen next?

The initial knee-jerk reaction to the adult on-set of jealousy is to take two pills. One is a pill of gratitude (get it together and start being thankful for what you have). The other is a little shot of denial. You can’t be jealous, that would be make you downright pathetic.

Jealousy, that thing that makes you want what something else has, isn’t to be exorcised. It should be examined because it is a sign. A sign that what you have is not enough. It could be that you are insecure about something. Or perhaps the jealousy is showcasing a need for you to DO something. In my case, I had not done the work to accomplish what this other person had done. So whose fault was it that she had reached the finish line first? It could be telling you that the life that you have is not enough and you need to expand your perspective and your reach to more fully challenge your talents, your tolerance for risk, your experience.

Don’t push off jealousy as a phase or a sign of weakness. Figure out what is it telling you and do what you need to do. That other person may have something you want. Go and get it for yourself. Change what you need to change, move where you need to move and face the fears in front of you.

Maybe then you can focus on what YOU are doing, instead of what someone else is experiencing. I guarantee it will be more fun.

For more helpful resources, go to www.neadinspiration.com or e-mail Liz’s team at neadinspiration@aol.com. Change Your Vision, Change Your Life!

Does what you think really matter?

Does what you think really matter?

I am married to the diametric opposite of me. He would term his orientation as realistic but I am not so sure. He seems genuinely suprised and delighted each time something wonderful happens to him. And, he is also grimly accepting and unsurprised when the events of the day went south.

In many ways, he has been more successful than me. Financially responsible, world traveller, speaker of more than one language, seemingly able to do anything he puts his mind to, it doesn't seem he should have such a darkened perspective. I have not been so careful skipping along the path of my life. While I have the abilities to make anything happen, I have not. I have not travelled the world over. I never put my mind to learning another language and I would never, under any circumstances classify my past behavior as fiscally responsible.

It makes me sad when he sees life as half of what it should be. I work on him, day after day, in the last ten years of our relationship. I curl up in hurt as he views ten days of bad behavior as more powerful than the remaining loving ones we have shared. He looks at me with disbelieving eyes. Why should I, he asks, change the way I think. I hear his unspoken words. You have been so optimistic and yet I have accomplished more than you.

Yes, I will give you that my husband and best friend. You have done more, but there is a reason to think wonderful, imaginative, deliriously spinning thoughts.

It increases the pleasure you experience on a daily basis. You were made to enjoy life! Your senses were not created for the average experience. Your taste buds can taste the difference between a bland piece of toast and a colorful meal with filet mignon, sauces, mushrooms, onions and garlic. Your ears can hear the sweet singing on a bird and the rumble of the car next to you. Your fingers can enjoy the softness of someone's skin or the roughness of pavement.

It is your choice whether you choose to enjoy these sensations. And the choosing will change your life. Decide to taste amazing food. Make a point of looking to the left of the highway and seeing the fiery colors of the fall trees. Fill your lungs to bursting and then let it out with relief. Look at your old pictures and remember the joy of a life you have lived.

And enjoy every bit of success and love that comes your way. I promise, what you think does matter. It will be the difference between a life enjoyed and an existence tolerated.

I hope you choose the first!

For more encouragement go to http://www.neadinspiration.com/ or call Liz at 515-664-6881.