Does what you think really matter?

Does what you think really matter?

I am married to the diametric opposite of me. He would term his orientation as realistic but I am not so sure. He seems genuinely suprised and delighted each time something wonderful happens to him. And, he is also grimly accepting and unsurprised when the events of the day went south.

In many ways, he has been more successful than me. Financially responsible, world traveller, speaker of more than one language, seemingly able to do anything he puts his mind to, it doesn't seem he should have such a darkened perspective. I have not been so careful skipping along the path of my life. While I have the abilities to make anything happen, I have not. I have not travelled the world over. I never put my mind to learning another language and I would never, under any circumstances classify my past behavior as fiscally responsible.

It makes me sad when he sees life as half of what it should be. I work on him, day after day, in the last ten years of our relationship. I curl up in hurt as he views ten days of bad behavior as more powerful than the remaining loving ones we have shared. He looks at me with disbelieving eyes. Why should I, he asks, change the way I think. I hear his unspoken words. You have been so optimistic and yet I have accomplished more than you.

Yes, I will give you that my husband and best friend. You have done more, but there is a reason to think wonderful, imaginative, deliriously spinning thoughts.

It increases the pleasure you experience on a daily basis. You were made to enjoy life! Your senses were not created for the average experience. Your taste buds can taste the difference between a bland piece of toast and a colorful meal with filet mignon, sauces, mushrooms, onions and garlic. Your ears can hear the sweet singing on a bird and the rumble of the car next to you. Your fingers can enjoy the softness of someone's skin or the roughness of pavement.

It is your choice whether you choose to enjoy these sensations. And the choosing will change your life. Decide to taste amazing food. Make a point of looking to the left of the highway and seeing the fiery colors of the fall trees. Fill your lungs to bursting and then let it out with relief. Look at your old pictures and remember the joy of a life you have lived.

And enjoy every bit of success and love that comes your way. I promise, what you think does matter. It will be the difference between a life enjoyed and an existence tolerated.

I hope you choose the first!

For more encouragement go to http://www.neadinspiration.com/ or call Liz at 515-664-6881.

Drama Free- Living! Get off the stage!

Drama Free Living! Get Off the Stage!


Drama!

I've been talking about drama lately. Have you heard this one? "Drama follows me! I don't want this! It seems to find me!"

I've got something to say about this. NO IT DOESN'T. It can't find you. But you, quite consistently and clearly, can create the same kind of drama, over and over.

Lest you think I am being judgmental, (this is one of the "dramatic" accusations I receive on a regular basis), I want you to know that I too, have this drama problem. I find myself in the darndest situations. This person is mad at me, that person doesn't understand me, I don't feel like I can tell someone else the truth. I find myself rescuing this type of person, my bank account never seems to be the right "amount," relationships that always go behind my back. The list goes on and on.

It was not about me. I was sure of it. No matter how nice I was, people were mad. No matter how hard I tried to listen, they didn't feel heard. No matter how much I divulged, they couldn't see me for who I was. No matter how hard I tried to rescue, they accused me of drowning them. I spent on what I thought was right but couldn't get it right. I protected secrets and felt exposed. How could this be? How could I give such lovely gifts to the universe and be returned such an out of balance response?

I finally had to look the mirror and admit, I invited the reponse. Drama was what I asked for and drama is what I got. I didn't wan to be normal. I didn't want every day to be the same. I liked the feeling of pent of adrenaline that comes with a problem which requires solving and I liked the moment of relive that comes with a solution even more. I felt loved when someone came to my rescue. I felt smart when I "MacGyver'ed" my way out of the situation, and I felt sane when I was around insanity.

Better than Shakespeare, is the real-life drama. It has all the makings of Academy Award, situations that MAKE you feel a certain way. The problem is, the drama will eventually get the best of you and you will become tired of it. Then, as with any good addiction, you forget about he consequences and begin to think about the chemicals that accompany drama. It's tiring, it's confusing and it's pointless.

If you don't like the drama, GET OUT OF THE PLAY! Resign as the lead! Let someone else take the stage! You don't need the drama. You need real life.

Relationships: Your core relationships, personal or professional, should be based on one primary element, Respect. If you can't be yourself, if you can't say what you need to say, if you don't remember why you are friends, then you are inviting drama. Remember the ultimate anti-drama antidote for relationships, respect.

Resources: Your resources, whether it is professional or personal capital or the money in the bank, it is only replenished by you. It can be developed only by your nurturing care. Yes, you may win the "lottery" in some way, but waiting for the lottery will only create more drama.

YOU: The most amazing component of who you are is not your hair, your athletic ability, even your intelligence. It's your SOUL. Your instincts tell you what is wrong or right, and only then can your intellect ferret out the inconsistencies. Your heart will tell you to speak and your mind will come up with some words to explain what is in the depths of who you are. Don't expect your soul to change for your circumstances or you will again create more drama.

My question to you: What kind of life do you want to live? A life that looks great on the stage, but a bit sad without the lighting and scripting of a drama? Or an existence that is marked by integrity, honesty and the joy of another day on the planet? I choose the latter. I hope you do too.

Watch for the Signs!

Watch for the Signs!

I like a good sign. A sign that "I am on the "right track."

As I go through this process, the process of going from point A to point B, I like to know that I'm not going totally in the wrong direction. Point A is the life I had before. Point B is the place I'd like to be. The line in the middle is the journey, the experiences, the lessons and the triumphs that occur between the two points.

I sincerely don't want to get to destination "B" and realize I don't really like "B," that it's not right for me and if I had recognized the signs, "C" would be have much better for me.

We all look for the signs. And as of late, I do believe we have developed a sort of faith, we call them whispers of sorts, the signs that we should take a left, a right, or turn right back around. If we are searching for financing and it seems like a struggle, we might say, "well, things shouldn't be this hard, so it must be a sign that it isn't meant to be." Or we just need to convince some people and build a team to help us get to our destination and we can't find the support we need. Another sign. Better yet, we are working and waiting for the opportunity and more doors and shutting than opening so here we are with another sign.

The desire for signs are as old as the stories in the Bible. There's a great story in the book of Judges in which Gideon wasn't sure about a mission that God called him to, and so he asked God for a sign using sheepskin. In fact he tested God twice in the story. First he said wanted the ground to be wet and the sheepskin dry in the morning and then he said he wanted the ground to be dry and sheepskin wet the day after that. A test, a sign outside of himself.

Now there are "sheepskins" everywhere. We all like to know. Avoid risk. Avoid hurt. Avoid looking stupid.

There are signs. They just arren't outside. They are inside. They are in your faith. Your belief. Your knowledge. Your talent. Your journey. Your intentions. Your fears. Your commitment. Your perserverance.

You know whether you should continue. All the whispers and shouts are there. Trust yourself and believe. Stop questioning and asking for signs and go for it. Retreat if you need to. Or put all the eggs in the basket of your choosing. Just following the signs.

Inside of you.

Vision: Preparation and Planning

Vision is a funny thing. We want something, we start to picture it and then just at the moment when our imagination gets going, something happens. A barrier rises up before us and blocks our view! Maybe the timing isn't right, you are in the wrong location, you are the wrong age, your resume is for the life you have, not the life you want.

So you stop thinking about it. It's just unlikely, so why bother? Why waste your time thinking about something that is never going to happen. Isn't that what adulthood is all about?

If you want to create a vision that will come true, if you want to stop living in fear or practicality or whatever you call it, focus on two things. Preparation and Planning.

Preparation comes from finding more out about that vision. Meet with people that have already acheived what you want. Ask them how it feels, ask them what they hate about it. Stand in their shoes for a minute and look around. Figure out what you want from the vision. Ask yourself, WHY do you really want this. Do the research in every way you can, so that your imagination has something to work with!

Then, start planning. Think of some steps that might get you there. For instance, if I want to be a talk show host, it might be beneficial for me to practice looking at that camera, an inanimate object that doesn't give me anything back! I could write out some concepts for shows. I could do the research about why an Indian chick from Minnesota might be PERFECT for the job.

If you focus on preparation and planning, if you look at that vision every day, trust me...you won't have to worry about the barriers. You will be thinking about what you found out during your preparation and your plans for the future and the the actions will fall into place!