Cleaning Up: Getting Over the Halfway Hump

Cleaning Up:  Getting Over the Halfway Hump

I'm standing in the middle of an incredible mess. 

I'm cleaning out my study.  Total excavation was necessary.  Energetic inspiration made me pull out the old bills, the empty boxes, the outdated Nead Inspiration stuff.  Taking a good look at what I need to make this work this time, maybe some containers, folders...organizational stuff.  Now I'm halfway through the job and I am horrified.

It's a sickening feeling, an almost empty study, a completely crowded hallway and the adult resolve that is needed to finish.  I can't walk away now and it makes no sense to put it back the way it was.  The way it was looks really good to me though.  Wish I hadn't started.  Halfway there and and halfway undone. 

You might be excavating something in your life.  It needed to happen.  There were situations and complications that had to unravel.  They had to be removed completely and perused and evaluated.  Sorting into piles; this commitment I will  keep.  This relationship really needs to be thrown away completely.  And over here is the networking involvement that I will retain and reuse or remediate.  At first, the process is completely engrossing.  Every time something is put to the side, a decision is made, there is freedom.  The freedom of ridding the self of life-clutter.  The positioning to make big changes.  Cleaning it out so the baggage does not come along on the journey with you.

You may be one of those people that does the "life clean up" effortlessly.  I envy you, I really do.  For the rest of us, there will be a moment when you feel as if the situation is a bigger disaster than ever. Even if it wasn't healthy, at least you know what you were doing before.  Now everything is out of place, it feels awkward and you are having that moment.  You want to go back, scrap it all, try another day.  The disaster of everything upended means you have to do something.  You are just not sure that the life clean-up is so attractive anymore.

I kept working on my study-mess.  I focused on one task and then another.  I moved, recharged, reconsidered and decided.  Eventually, I moved across the halfway line and I could see what I wanted, the well-ordered study.  A place to relax, to study, to create and to grow.  Once I conquered it, I kept going back in to celebrate the room.  It felt so good, not just because it was cleaned out, but because I had overcome the challenge.  I hadn't given up.

Life and study areas.  They are not so different.  Keep going.  Picture what it will look like.  Imagine the satisfaction that comes from healthy relationships, from financial order, from a sense of purpose.  Let that picture, the purpose of cleaning stuff up, drive your actions and energy.  See yourself sitting in your favorite spot with less stress and more amazement.

Persist!  Get over the hump!  It will be worth it.

If you enjoyed this blog, please utilize the other resources at http://www.neadinspiration.com/ and listen to Liz's radio show at http://www.desmoineslocallive.com/ called "Skywalk Talk," from 11:00-12:30 cst, M-F. Liz Nead is committed to helping you succeed!

Don't Freeze the Past: Embrace Today!

Don't Freeze in the Past: Embrace Today!

It's holiday time and in regular form I travelled back to Minnesota for a wedding, my cousin David's wedding. I wound around Highway 35, sliced through St. Paul on 90 and then swung through White Bear and Vadnais Heights and Maplewood on 694 before slowing down to catch Lexington Avenue. Only a few miles down Lexington and I could see myself, the "myself" of the past. There she is...in seventh grade, running her five mile loop. There she is when she got her first job. There is where she got her first speeding ticket. Then, the street of my personal definition, where it all began, Lake Oaks Drive.

My husband turned in and I felt strange, aptly middle-named-Alice in Wonderland- yes my middle name is Alice. What happened to these trees? Why are they so tall and thick-branched? Why are the houses somehow different, longer, grayer? the lake at the end of the road is obscure, hidden. The sky looks smaller, the road narrower.

This is not the Lake Oaks Drive of my past.

I say this to my husband and he continues on silently. He has other things on his mind, the things that would occur to a husband drawing even closer to his in-laws. I sense the internal eye-roll, a skill picked up after ten years of marriage. I think I say this every time we direct the car this way, but I am surprised every time. It is not the Lake Oaks Drive of my youth, of thirty years ago. It is 2009, and everything has changed.

I have been that street, a snapshot that is stuck in the mind's eye of another. No matter how hard I try, I am always who I was twenty years ago, ten years ago, whenever that moment became so definitive that it cannot be forgotten. Sometimes it is a moment of beauty, a race won, a record broken. The mind might capture a special moment of childhood friendship or a the first blush of romance before it is tainted by expectations.

Or, the snapshot can be a picture of a darker moment, an instance when I hurt another, when I betrayed someone, when I disappointed, when I fell short of expected greatness. Often no one knows when the button is pushed on the memory camera, but when it happens, it becomes a photograph. A picture of the truth. The truth of one moment in a lifetime.

Lake Oaks Drive and I, we are sisters. No matter how hard I try, I cannot escape their surprise. Oh Liz, you have changed! You are no longer that unsure girl, that reckless woman, that foolhardy professional. But that is what I remember, it is so hard for me to see you this way, to think that it is REAL.

You know what I mean. You have snapshots, frozen memories of people. I say this to you. Let them grow. Let them change. Maybe they are not as perfect as you thought they were. Perhaps they are not as manipulative as you remember. Operative word: remember. Those days are gone. Familiarize yourself with the present. See who is here now, today. Let each person be who they are, NOW. Don't freeze them as your own personal Lake Oaks Drive. The poetic curve of the oaks, the history of the homes added-on, the worn streets are more beautiful than they were 30 years ago. Allow change.

Embrace today.

If you enjoyed this blog, please utilize the other resources at http://www.neadinspiration.com/ and listen to Liz's radio show at http://www.desmoineslocallive.com/ called "Skywalk Talk," from 11:00-12:30 cst, M-F. Liz Nead is committed to helping you succeed!

Want More Happiness? The choice is yours!

Want More Happiness? The choice is yours!

(Check out Liz Nead's video at the bottom talking about your choice for happiess!)

Do you remember your parents lecturing you, telling you to eat your broccoli, that there were children that would beg for broccoli? Have you ever told yourself to be grateful, to stop complaining, that your life as bad as others, that you have no right to complain?

Does it work? Does it make you feel thankful for what you have right now? Of course not!

Sure, you might be grateful for a few moments, as you notice your blessings, your fortunate circumstances. Most of the time, though, it doesn’t take long before something else grabs your attention. Your eyes and mind turn to what you want, what you don’t have, what you wish for.

If you are not this person, you have known something like this. Someone who just can’t focus on what they have. It is always about what could be better. There is always a wrong to glimpse. A spoiler to ruin what could be a positive existence.

You will face both pleasant circumstances and challenging situations. Sometimes life will seem easy and in other moments life will be hard for you. No matter what you think about the greener grass on the other side of the fence surrounding your world, it is the same for everyone. You only have to dig to find the sameness of conditions.

The only difference between you and the rest of the world is your perspective. Yes, there are places that are not fun because of war, poverty, lack of education and oppressive leadership. Of course if you live in a cute little house in the suburbs, it would be a preferable situation to the woman who lives in a mud hut in Tanzania without running water or state of the art medical care. You would be surprised at what your Tanzanian friend might say about your food, your home, your world. You prefer it because you know it.

Your happiness will not come from looking at someone else and telling yourself you have it good. You cannot sooth your soul by reminding yourself of the people in another country who don’t have what you have. You won’t appreciate your healthy children more by seeing unhealthy children. You won’t love your home more if you go to a smaller home. Those perspectives are temporary. The antidote to “comparative happiness” is to go to a bigger house, better kids, a nice place to live and suddenly you will feel irritated and underserved.

No, the best way to grab the happiness that is yours is to choose happiness. To choose to look at your husband and see what you love. To allow yourself to enjoy your friends instead of wishing for something better. To touch the softness of your well-worn couch and choose to remember good memories. To make a point of remember good times not bad times.

I promise if you choose to see and give credit to the good in any situation, you will find your heart full of gratitude for what you have. And you will ask yourself, grass? What grass? I love my life. It is mine.

If you enjoyed this blog, please enjoy the other resources at www.neadinspiration.com and listen to Liz's radio show at www.desmoineslocallive.com called "Skywalk Talk," from 11:00 to 12:30 cst, M-F. Liz wants to help you succeed!

Does what you think really matter?

Does what you think really matter?

I am married to the diametric opposite of me. He would term his orientation as realistic but I am not so sure. He seems genuinely suprised and delighted each time something wonderful happens to him. And, he is also grimly accepting and unsurprised when the events of the day went south.

In many ways, he has been more successful than me. Financially responsible, world traveller, speaker of more than one language, seemingly able to do anything he puts his mind to, it doesn't seem he should have such a darkened perspective. I have not been so careful skipping along the path of my life. While I have the abilities to make anything happen, I have not. I have not travelled the world over. I never put my mind to learning another language and I would never, under any circumstances classify my past behavior as fiscally responsible.

It makes me sad when he sees life as half of what it should be. I work on him, day after day, in the last ten years of our relationship. I curl up in hurt as he views ten days of bad behavior as more powerful than the remaining loving ones we have shared. He looks at me with disbelieving eyes. Why should I, he asks, change the way I think. I hear his unspoken words. You have been so optimistic and yet I have accomplished more than you.

Yes, I will give you that my husband and best friend. You have done more, but there is a reason to think wonderful, imaginative, deliriously spinning thoughts.

It increases the pleasure you experience on a daily basis. You were made to enjoy life! Your senses were not created for the average experience. Your taste buds can taste the difference between a bland piece of toast and a colorful meal with filet mignon, sauces, mushrooms, onions and garlic. Your ears can hear the sweet singing on a bird and the rumble of the car next to you. Your fingers can enjoy the softness of someone's skin or the roughness of pavement.

It is your choice whether you choose to enjoy these sensations. And the choosing will change your life. Decide to taste amazing food. Make a point of looking to the left of the highway and seeing the fiery colors of the fall trees. Fill your lungs to bursting and then let it out with relief. Look at your old pictures and remember the joy of a life you have lived.

And enjoy every bit of success and love that comes your way. I promise, what you think does matter. It will be the difference between a life enjoyed and an existence tolerated.

I hope you choose the first!

For more encouragement go to http://www.neadinspiration.com/ or call Liz at 515-664-6881.

Power Comes From Within

Power Comes From Within

Birds of a Feather, fly together. I'm sure you have heard this one. You are who you are with. Yes, those people you spend the most time with influence. It might be true that your income is the average of the seven people with you spend the most time. But your power comes from within.

Your power: Your Game. It's the something that makes you, well, YOU. It's the power to solve problems, remove barriers, make big things happen, make little things happen. It's the manipulation and desire and effort that you exert to change something to get a little better or a little worse.

You might be looking for a job. You might be building your business. You are looking for a healthy mate. You are looking for a healthy you. Your power does not come from your prospective employer, from your prospective clients, your future lover or the scale. It comes from your ability to bring YOU to the table. The best, most productive, creative, healthy YOU to the job interview, to your client, on your date, to your workout.

Outside of you there is guidance. Support. Mentorship. Discouragement. Barriers. Happenstances. But the power of what you will do, well, that will come from the inside. Today, look around. And instead of wondering who is going to make your day, decide how you will make this day the best possible day for yourself. Using your personal power.

Vision Board #3: My Best Work Yet!

Vision Board #3: My Best Work Yet!

I created my third vision board today. I can't wait to see what happens next.

The first one was created to disprove the process of creating vision on a silly posterboard with ridiculous pictures. I slapped up pictures of things I never thought would happen. Then I was knocked off the throne of skeptism as each picture miraculously came to life.

The second time, I created a vision board based on what I thought I should want. Things that would look good for a speaker who preaches about vision.

The third one is the best. It has my heart. Everything I could ever want or need from the deepest part of who I am. This time it's different. Although my experience with vision boards Disparate from anything I have ever experienced.

• The Truth: As I said, Vision Board #3 is my heart. It is coming from a place of yearning and wanting. I know that I will be heartbroken if some of these things don't come to pass. Yet, as I thought about the pictures and what I wanted, how to write it out and let the images speak for my heart, I asked my self one thing. Why would I want to depict anything else? If ever there was a place to inject my heart, this would be it.


• No Spectators Allowed: I'm a speaker, so I tend to view life from a stage. What do I look like? Who will see me? How will this be perceived? These are all very insightful questions in developing a career, but this insight is the great ravager of vision. Vision Board #3 is just for me. In fact, I might be a bit embarrased for you to have such a clear view into me. As I placed phrases and images on my board, I put aside the thoughts of you. If it is to work the way I want it, it had to be for me.


• Feelings First, Logic Second: It felt a bit ridiculous, cutting out pictures and using tape and glue to arrange them around the board. My husband came up to visit me during the process and did his best to be encouraging. Imagine the thoughts that flooded my mind as I created. Why you? What makes you think that is going to happen? Who are you kidding? My answer to my brain: This is what I want. I can't help it if it doesn't make sense. I can't help it if I don't deserve it. I can't stop wanting this. So it is going on the board. Vision Board #3.

I went there this time. A picture of Oprah reading my book. My face smiling from a television screen. A key unlocking the best part of my brain. Out of the box. Renew your spirit. Everything that I really want. I can see it from where I type. And I am smiling.

Five minutes after I placed Vision Board #3 on the wall, at the foot of my bed where I will see it many times in the day, my phone buzzes. More e-mails. I check the messages and find a request. I was chosen to be in a commercial. I look up at my vision board and smile.

My face on a television screen. It's already started.

Vision: Preparation and Planning

Vision is a funny thing. We want something, we start to picture it and then just at the moment when our imagination gets going, something happens. A barrier rises up before us and blocks our view! Maybe the timing isn't right, you are in the wrong location, you are the wrong age, your resume is for the life you have, not the life you want.

So you stop thinking about it. It's just unlikely, so why bother? Why waste your time thinking about something that is never going to happen. Isn't that what adulthood is all about?

If you want to create a vision that will come true, if you want to stop living in fear or practicality or whatever you call it, focus on two things. Preparation and Planning.

Preparation comes from finding more out about that vision. Meet with people that have already acheived what you want. Ask them how it feels, ask them what they hate about it. Stand in their shoes for a minute and look around. Figure out what you want from the vision. Ask yourself, WHY do you really want this. Do the research in every way you can, so that your imagination has something to work with!

Then, start planning. Think of some steps that might get you there. For instance, if I want to be a talk show host, it might be beneficial for me to practice looking at that camera, an inanimate object that doesn't give me anything back! I could write out some concepts for shows. I could do the research about why an Indian chick from Minnesota might be PERFECT for the job.

If you focus on preparation and planning, if you look at that vision every day, trust me...you won't have to worry about the barriers. You will be thinking about what you found out during your preparation and your plans for the future and the the actions will fall into place!