Watch for the Signs!

Watch for the Signs!

I like a good sign. A sign that "I am on the "right track."

As I go through this process, the process of going from point A to point B, I like to know that I'm not going totally in the wrong direction. Point A is the life I had before. Point B is the place I'd like to be. The line in the middle is the journey, the experiences, the lessons and the triumphs that occur between the two points.

I sincerely don't want to get to destination "B" and realize I don't really like "B," that it's not right for me and if I had recognized the signs, "C" would be have much better for me.

We all look for the signs. And as of late, I do believe we have developed a sort of faith, we call them whispers of sorts, the signs that we should take a left, a right, or turn right back around. If we are searching for financing and it seems like a struggle, we might say, "well, things shouldn't be this hard, so it must be a sign that it isn't meant to be." Or we just need to convince some people and build a team to help us get to our destination and we can't find the support we need. Another sign. Better yet, we are working and waiting for the opportunity and more doors and shutting than opening so here we are with another sign.

The desire for signs are as old as the stories in the Bible. There's a great story in the book of Judges in which Gideon wasn't sure about a mission that God called him to, and so he asked God for a sign using sheepskin. In fact he tested God twice in the story. First he said wanted the ground to be wet and the sheepskin dry in the morning and then he said he wanted the ground to be dry and sheepskin wet the day after that. A test, a sign outside of himself.

Now there are "sheepskins" everywhere. We all like to know. Avoid risk. Avoid hurt. Avoid looking stupid.

There are signs. They just arren't outside. They are inside. They are in your faith. Your belief. Your knowledge. Your talent. Your journey. Your intentions. Your fears. Your commitment. Your perserverance.

You know whether you should continue. All the whispers and shouts are there. Trust yourself and believe. Stop questioning and asking for signs and go for it. Retreat if you need to. Or put all the eggs in the basket of your choosing. Just following the signs.

Inside of you.

Hugging Before the Red Zone

I just got a hug that I didn't want.

Has that ever happened to you? You are an innocent, working quietly in a coffeeshop, focusing on your business and someone you see regularly walks toward you. You recognize him, but you don't know his name and it's too late to ask. You can expect that meaningless banter that makes you could the minutes until the conversation is over and you can get back to what you were doing in the first place.

THAT guy just walked up to me. He had already walked by once before with the usual, "hello beautiful, have you made that million bucks yet?" This was the second pass through. He came around the corner and slid his arm under mine and said something. I don't know what it was because I was thinking about something else. Should I jerk my arm away or will he move along without that non-verbal cue.

Whew. He did. But it got me thinking. About networking.

As social and in-person networking becomes more important, I think we do this to each other- ignoring boundaries and crashing through personal space. It's just harder to see these days. We get a card and without asking the owner, put the e-mail on a list. Or we laugh and try to assume some sort of relationship without during the work. Worse yet, we might go there, talking about our personal lives before the relationship can bear the weight.

I developed a rule of thumb for those of us who are just having a good time. Meaning no harm and yet, we need to remember, in the midst of our fun, we are still working at it. Developing relationships and a solid platform to achieve a vision.

The rule has three circles, one placed inside the other. Networking target practice.

The first is blue. When you walk up to someone and engage with them, you are in the blue zone if they don't push you away. It means you are going to be polite with each other while you figure out the nature of your relationships. Cards are exchanged at this point along with a very high level of information about your lives. What you do, where you live and a smattering about your personal life. You might even find out that you went to the same school or you are from the same time. May people may think at this point, 'we are connected now,' since the person accepted the link request or participated in a somewhat energetic conversation. But this is only the first step to networking. It's the blue zone. Good but nothing that will achieve results, either personally or professionally. You aren't getting invited to a breakfast club, a girl's night, or a child's birthday party. You are part of a positive experience but you are not IN.

The next circle in is green. If you have moved from blue to green, you have advanced further in the networking game. Now, the other person knows what you are about. Not only does he know what you do for a living or what your life is like personally, but they also know how, when, where, why you want to get there. The stage has been set for the next step. The opportunities have been laid out for reaction. If the other person has accepted more information in the green zone, and did not turn you away, you might get an invite to the barbeque or a referral to a colleague that might be of some use. Trust me, it takes work to get into the green zone. It's not just about creating a friendly backdrop for networking. It's also going to encompass YOU, your preparedness, your clarity of mission, your presentation, your intensity, your intention. You have to be ready to bring it when the moment is right. Remember, you are still not there. No one has said YES or NO. But it's nice. You are further along.

Last, but not least is the red zone. Decision time. It's where the relationship is solidified. You are in the know with this person. Hey! At this point, you can give that person a hug if you want, I think! And, in networking-speak, it's the moment when you ask the question. Here is a proposition, you might say, and here is how I see you in it. Are you willing to participate. You will brace yourself for the answer. If you hear no, you are going to either cruise along nursing that green relationship, waiting for another moment to work together or you are going to cool it and go back to blue. You will not stay long in the red zone. The red zone moments are for opportunists. The time is now.

As you go through your networking moments, those chance meetings on the sideline of your child's soccer game, a pass by at the local coffee shop, a shared cocktail at a networking event. Remember what you are doing. This is not the time for many casual conversation. Have purpose! Think about what you are doing and how it fits into the larger picture of your vision! Purposefully move through the blue, green and red zones as needed. Then you will never find yourself hugging someone in a coffee shop with a weird look on thier face.

Achieving "Vision" Perfection

When you set out to do something great, there is one great barrier between you and the promise land. It has many faces, many voices, but it all comes from the same place.

Perfection.

We want to be perfect. I don't mean, "be perfect." We all know that we can never truly achieve perfection. There are too many factors, within ourselves and the world around us to be perfect. Not to mention perfection is subjective. Perfect to one could be absolute failure to another.

Yet, we strive for perfection. We want to set sail on our journey to creating our vision when things are right. When all the arrows point to "yes." When we have the support and situation that we need to make it happen.

And we hear every day, in a million different ways, now is not the right time. How, it is not perfect. And we believe it because we want to make that big splash, we want to hear the applause, we want to know that we did it at the right time. We are not sure if we will make it otherwise.

The voices tell us that others have done it already, and those people, with all that experience were not able to achieve it. Why should you make it when others haven't? We look in our bag of tricks and we see that we don't have enough money the bank, we don't have the buy in from others, our talent isn't in quite the right place. The timing for perfection is wrong.

Here is folks. Wait for it. The timing will never be right. The timing for the perfection you desire will never arrive.

Yet, you can achieve perfection. Vision perfection. The time is now. You are you, you have the time, you have the talent, you have the vision of a specific path. A path designed for YOU.
Don't wait for perfection. Take the chance. Fall down, get up, dust off and try again. Learn from every moment you are on the planet. You will be surprised at the doors that will open. You will be blown away at the serendipities and happenstances that fall into place as you dig in and produce effort to support your dreams.

Go ahead, try for vision perfection. You will find that the perfect situation, the perfect place for your talents will find you!

Five Steps to Rockstar Networking

I attended a networking event yesterday. The composition of the tables were carefully planned out, each with a tent card labeled "sales," or "IT..." The topic of inspiration was, you guessed it, "How to Build a Rockstar Network." The attendees were suprisingly ready, upper level professionals with a modicum of what they used to wear during their employment, employment that no longer existed. Apparent that they knew what to do when entering a room to network. Direct gazes, firm handshakes, to-the-point introductions.

As always, one level lower exists the truth. That pesky truth that these people had nice jobs, and incomes they could depend on. The same employer had bought the minutes of their lives for many years and they were on an unfamiliar courtship. A latent fear just below the surface, with questions and statements shot out to the universe. "Do you really want me?" "What is the secret handshake?" "I can't believe i'm in this situation."

The reality is not so stark. There is no web to detangle, no secret code to decipher. Rather it is startling simple, almost remedial. Yet in spite of the simplicity it is often overlooked. Five easy steps to building a network that a rockstar would envy.

1. Be open about yourself. The ultimate worm on a hook, personal tranparency can be transformative. Don't be the perfect version of yourself during the networking process. It's like putting a book cover on a worn book. Don't pretend you know all the answers. Learn how to be disarmingly open.

2. Be genuinely interested in others. We can spot a fake a mile away, the people who scan the crowd behind you, taking up time talking to you until someone better walks by. Instead of pretending to be interested, find the point that you are fascinated with. Figure out whether you want to have a relationship with the person that you are talking to. They will appreciate it.

3. Look for a way to help. No one will turn down useful offers of assistance. It is a great way to keep the door open until you figure out your next move. It demonstrates kindness and the effective use of some of your skills. Now, when the person repeats your name, it will be attached to service. Not bad PR.

4. Be ready to ask. Don't execute all this effort without asking for what you need when the time is right! You should know what you want, and be ready to ask the person for help if it makes sense. Don't put it off until later, you may never have this moment with this particular person again.

5. Finally, Follow up. The majority of networking bounty is lost during the follow up. Not only does it demonstrate a desire to have a meaningful relationship, but it keeps the fire lit. Do it. Within 24 to 48 hours. You will be suprised how few people actually follow up. It opens the door for YOU to make something big happen.

See? It's not that hard and it's certainly not brilliant! Just be yourself, engage in others, be helpful, ready to ask for what you need and follow up. Take this method to the breakfasts, the luncheons, the after hours events, the beach or even the farmer's market. You'll see, your inner rockstar will emerge in no time.

Vision: Preparation and Planning

Vision is a funny thing. We want something, we start to picture it and then just at the moment when our imagination gets going, something happens. A barrier rises up before us and blocks our view! Maybe the timing isn't right, you are in the wrong location, you are the wrong age, your resume is for the life you have, not the life you want.

So you stop thinking about it. It's just unlikely, so why bother? Why waste your time thinking about something that is never going to happen. Isn't that what adulthood is all about?

If you want to create a vision that will come true, if you want to stop living in fear or practicality or whatever you call it, focus on two things. Preparation and Planning.

Preparation comes from finding more out about that vision. Meet with people that have already acheived what you want. Ask them how it feels, ask them what they hate about it. Stand in their shoes for a minute and look around. Figure out what you want from the vision. Ask yourself, WHY do you really want this. Do the research in every way you can, so that your imagination has something to work with!

Then, start planning. Think of some steps that might get you there. For instance, if I want to be a talk show host, it might be beneficial for me to practice looking at that camera, an inanimate object that doesn't give me anything back! I could write out some concepts for shows. I could do the research about why an Indian chick from Minnesota might be PERFECT for the job.

If you focus on preparation and planning, if you look at that vision every day, trust me...you won't have to worry about the barriers. You will be thinking about what you found out during your preparation and your plans for the future and the the actions will fall into place!