Inspired Vision! It's all in your head

It's all in your head.

What you feel, how you are doing, what you answer when someone asks you, "Hey!  Howzit going??"  That stuff, is all in your head. 

The four-minute mile. It was a statistical impossibility, unthinkable that a man turn his own legs over fast enough to run a mile in four minutes. Until Roger Bannister started to run. During an attempt on British record, Bannister ran a 4:03. It was then he “realized that the four-minute mile was not out of reach.” (Wikipedia) A year later, one windy day, Bannister ran a mile in a history 3:59.4. It only took 46 days for rival John Landy to break the new record.


The first skyscraper. Before the building was built that dared to touch the sky, people didn’t trust elevator systems. Until William LeBaron Jenney proposed the use of steel beams in the skeleton of a building, rather than bricks. The result was the Home Insurance Building in Chicago, in 1885, ten stories high and 138 feet tall. In 2010, the Burj Khalifa towers over Dubai, 2717 feet and 160 floors.

A young woman cries and struggles over the thought of divorcing her husband of two years. No one will understand. People will judge her. She divorces. Happily she marries a second time. Inevitably she and her second husband fight. She is no longer afraid to go to the courthouse and file for divorce. She seriously considers it during each argument.

A man is waiting to interview for another position at an insurance company. He never thought his resume would look like this. He spent twenty years with the military before retiring and commencing his career in the private sector. He went into his first position imagining he would retire there. He did not retain that job. He found another, and then another. Now, he can’t imagine working anywhere for longer than 18 months.

Remember, vision is the ability to see your world, a strange and mystical combination of your heart’s eye and the world outside of you. Outside is what has already happened. It’s the record that hasn’t been broken. It’s the relationships you have already had or what you can see of others’ relationships. But the inside, where the core of the first Inspired Mind Guideline is based on your inner eye. Your intuition. Your sixth sense. The hairs standing up on the back of your neck.

Most important, my friend, is for you to know that there is nothing wrong with you. You have been skillfully and collectively taught in absolutes, about the important difference between black and white. I don’t need to tell you which color to prefer. There is a “right” way to do everything. The proper place to write your name on your paper. Certainly not at the bottom! The right volume of your voice. Not too loud! The appropriate method of maintaining relationships. No hitting and no yelling!


These so called truths become the standard. You and I, we absorb them in the interest of survival and then travel into adulthood with this baggage. The voice of our surrounding drown out the bellows of our heart until the heart simply gives up, reduced to a mere whisper.

Packed in our luggage is an understanding that “things” are a certain way. Nothing new is under the sun. Even though it would be nice to do something brilliant, there just isn’t time, when responsibilities stand in the way. This is what we call reality. But the true reality is that it is all perceptions. I am not debating the existence of right and wrong. I am talking about the infinite possibilities for every situation.

How many of those possibilities you can actually see. How many of those possibilities you think are a good idea. How many of those possibilities scare you. How many of those possibilities excited you.

It’s all in your head.

Think about it today, as you meander through your minutes, so sure of what you know.  Take a second and consult yourself.  What does your heart tell you?  Are you meant to break the record?  Can you see steel beams among the bricks?  Believe in your perspective!  Pursue the possibilties laid out for you.  Do you want love?  Consider someone who isn't "good on paper."  How about a different career?  Investigate others' jobs, check out schools, peruse the blogs.  Want to move?  Go there and imagine yourself in that place.  Figure out how much it would cost to move. 

Just don't be afraid to check it out.  It's all in your head.

Peace at all Costs?

Peace at all Costs?

What's your goal?  Do you want everything to be straight, narrow, focused, without turbulence?  Peace at all costs?

I had a fight with my husband this weekend.  Nothing spectacular, a top three subject of discord among couples, about money.  We love each other, this man and I; there is a passion we have that is hard to describe and impossible to explain.  Our personalities so different, our sunny days are downright inspiring.  The dark days are equally scary.

So it's no surprise that I avoid potential battles.  I'm admittedly intense, but kind of happy-go-lucky.  I prefer the decadent lunch meetings, networking parties, silly movies, the satisfaction of personal connection.  He is the opposite, his eyes always flickering and scanning as he thinks about how to protect us. It's a military trait, learned from 20 years of processing every possible risk.  The loss of life his deterrant. 

We have a dance then, my cheerful nature always desiring more fun, a modern day Mary Poppins, breaking the rules and sweetly deferring.  He feels the weight of whatever is on the horizon, trips to make, finances to change, children to raise.  Secretly I do think about these things.  I try to anticipate what is needed, paying bills, buying the groceries, cleaning the clothes while he is away.  But the truth is I don't like to face these things.   He makes me face them.

We finally talked, he expressed his feelings that are often overlooked.  I cried mainly from the stress of finally having to deal with what I always avoid.  Nothing pretty or skillful about our encounter.  Some things remain unresolved.  Other items can be checked off. 

It's not a popular thing, to fight with the elements of life.  We are told not to take it personally, that those nasty events must somehow be your fault.  We can feel the collective relief of those around us, so grateful that they are not us as we travel a difficult moment.  So we pretend.  We act as if everything is easier than it is.  We try not to want to much, to ask for too much, to paste on the smile like a fake mustache.  Of course everyone can tell the mustache is fake.  It sits askew as the irritation levels rise.

Much better to be unapologetic.  This is my life, a mix bag of fun and challenging and today, I must take off my gloves and get in the fight.  The life is not lessened because of the stress; it is enriched as I learn how much I want what I want, how much I love what I love, how much I fear what I fear.  It is the moment of noticing. 

In the end, I review my weekend. It was fun, fun except for the black mark of our fight. Is it too bad it wasn't consistent bliss. Fake, peace-at-all-costs bliss, but bliss nonetheless?


I don't think so.  I might feel a little sad today, the discord still gripping my thoughts.  But I am left with the commitment, the life with a person that cannot always be pretty and cheery.  This is when I know.  I will be him forever.  It was worth the fight.

If you enjoyed this blog, please utilize the other resources at http://www.neadinspiration.com/ and listen to Liz's radio show at http://www.desmoineslocallive.com/ called "Skywalk Talk," from 11:00-12:30 cst, M-F. Liz Nead is committed to helping you succeed!

The Yes/ No Diet!

The Yes/ No Diet!

New Year Resolutions.  The fresh and new January feeling is delicious.  I will do this.  I'm going to stop doing that.  A world of control, enjoyment, risk, purpose, all at your fingertips.  Just resolve to make the change. 

You know what happens next.  Every year, the same thing.  Resolutions come and resolutions go.  Only we remain, the same issues, the fears, the weird thing inside that roots in today.  Those roots are not there to trap you.  The roots are growth, stability, history, keeping the real you from being swept away by momentary desires.

Resolutions aren't necessary right now.  Resolutions tell you to want to be something that you are, to uproot you and replace you with a new and improved version.  You don't need to resolve to become something you are not.  You need to prune, not uproot! 

Look at the branches of your life.  Do you need to get rid of a branch?  You can!  Maybe there is another limb that is out of control.  Take control, and prune back.  Perhaps there is a dead branch that is sucking the energy out of the rest of your life.  Get rid of it.  Decide what you are going to say YES to, and what you will say NO to.  The progress of life is not entirely random.  The roots are planted with the hope that a beautiful and balanced tree will come into existence.  There are choices that can be made. 

Throw away your resolutions!  Think about what the last day of 2010 looks like.  What are you doing?  How dependable are your relationships?  What did you accomplish?  Now work backwards and plan on pruning. 

Put yourself on a "yes" or "no" diet. 

Maybe you are like me and you need to learn to say no.  Don't do everything!  Don't do things to make everyone happy, do things that work for your roots, for your future.  Do the right things, the things that will get you to the end of the year happy, fulfilled and proud.  Or, you might need to force yourself to say yes.  Say yes to unexpected situations.  Say yes to your own success.  Say yes when you are afraid. 

Say yes, say no.  Just say what needs to be said with the big picture in mind.

What is your big picture? Where do you want to go?  Forget about resolutions.  Start pruning what you have.  Learn to say more yes', more no's and you will find 2010 to be an amazing journey.  And a year from now, as you stand in the forefront of 2011, a new world will open to you.

If you enjoyed this blog, please utilize the other resources at http://www.neadinspiration.com/ and listen to Liz's radio show at http://www.desmoineslocallive.com/ called "Skywalk Talk," from 11:00-12:30 cst, M-F. Liz Nead is committed to helping you succeed!

Cleaning Up: Getting Over the Halfway Hump

Cleaning Up:  Getting Over the Halfway Hump

I'm standing in the middle of an incredible mess. 

I'm cleaning out my study.  Total excavation was necessary.  Energetic inspiration made me pull out the old bills, the empty boxes, the outdated Nead Inspiration stuff.  Taking a good look at what I need to make this work this time, maybe some containers, folders...organizational stuff.  Now I'm halfway through the job and I am horrified.

It's a sickening feeling, an almost empty study, a completely crowded hallway and the adult resolve that is needed to finish.  I can't walk away now and it makes no sense to put it back the way it was.  The way it was looks really good to me though.  Wish I hadn't started.  Halfway there and and halfway undone. 

You might be excavating something in your life.  It needed to happen.  There were situations and complications that had to unravel.  They had to be removed completely and perused and evaluated.  Sorting into piles; this commitment I will  keep.  This relationship really needs to be thrown away completely.  And over here is the networking involvement that I will retain and reuse or remediate.  At first, the process is completely engrossing.  Every time something is put to the side, a decision is made, there is freedom.  The freedom of ridding the self of life-clutter.  The positioning to make big changes.  Cleaning it out so the baggage does not come along on the journey with you.

You may be one of those people that does the "life clean up" effortlessly.  I envy you, I really do.  For the rest of us, there will be a moment when you feel as if the situation is a bigger disaster than ever. Even if it wasn't healthy, at least you know what you were doing before.  Now everything is out of place, it feels awkward and you are having that moment.  You want to go back, scrap it all, try another day.  The disaster of everything upended means you have to do something.  You are just not sure that the life clean-up is so attractive anymore.

I kept working on my study-mess.  I focused on one task and then another.  I moved, recharged, reconsidered and decided.  Eventually, I moved across the halfway line and I could see what I wanted, the well-ordered study.  A place to relax, to study, to create and to grow.  Once I conquered it, I kept going back in to celebrate the room.  It felt so good, not just because it was cleaned out, but because I had overcome the challenge.  I hadn't given up.

Life and study areas.  They are not so different.  Keep going.  Picture what it will look like.  Imagine the satisfaction that comes from healthy relationships, from financial order, from a sense of purpose.  Let that picture, the purpose of cleaning stuff up, drive your actions and energy.  See yourself sitting in your favorite spot with less stress and more amazement.

Persist!  Get over the hump!  It will be worth it.

If you enjoyed this blog, please utilize the other resources at http://www.neadinspiration.com/ and listen to Liz's radio show at http://www.desmoineslocallive.com/ called "Skywalk Talk," from 11:00-12:30 cst, M-F. Liz Nead is committed to helping you succeed!

Don't Freeze the Past: Embrace Today!

Don't Freeze in the Past: Embrace Today!

It's holiday time and in regular form I travelled back to Minnesota for a wedding, my cousin David's wedding. I wound around Highway 35, sliced through St. Paul on 90 and then swung through White Bear and Vadnais Heights and Maplewood on 694 before slowing down to catch Lexington Avenue. Only a few miles down Lexington and I could see myself, the "myself" of the past. There she is...in seventh grade, running her five mile loop. There she is when she got her first job. There is where she got her first speeding ticket. Then, the street of my personal definition, where it all began, Lake Oaks Drive.

My husband turned in and I felt strange, aptly middle-named-Alice in Wonderland- yes my middle name is Alice. What happened to these trees? Why are they so tall and thick-branched? Why are the houses somehow different, longer, grayer? the lake at the end of the road is obscure, hidden. The sky looks smaller, the road narrower.

This is not the Lake Oaks Drive of my past.

I say this to my husband and he continues on silently. He has other things on his mind, the things that would occur to a husband drawing even closer to his in-laws. I sense the internal eye-roll, a skill picked up after ten years of marriage. I think I say this every time we direct the car this way, but I am surprised every time. It is not the Lake Oaks Drive of my youth, of thirty years ago. It is 2009, and everything has changed.

I have been that street, a snapshot that is stuck in the mind's eye of another. No matter how hard I try, I am always who I was twenty years ago, ten years ago, whenever that moment became so definitive that it cannot be forgotten. Sometimes it is a moment of beauty, a race won, a record broken. The mind might capture a special moment of childhood friendship or a the first blush of romance before it is tainted by expectations.

Or, the snapshot can be a picture of a darker moment, an instance when I hurt another, when I betrayed someone, when I disappointed, when I fell short of expected greatness. Often no one knows when the button is pushed on the memory camera, but when it happens, it becomes a photograph. A picture of the truth. The truth of one moment in a lifetime.

Lake Oaks Drive and I, we are sisters. No matter how hard I try, I cannot escape their surprise. Oh Liz, you have changed! You are no longer that unsure girl, that reckless woman, that foolhardy professional. But that is what I remember, it is so hard for me to see you this way, to think that it is REAL.

You know what I mean. You have snapshots, frozen memories of people. I say this to you. Let them grow. Let them change. Maybe they are not as perfect as you thought they were. Perhaps they are not as manipulative as you remember. Operative word: remember. Those days are gone. Familiarize yourself with the present. See who is here now, today. Let each person be who they are, NOW. Don't freeze them as your own personal Lake Oaks Drive. The poetic curve of the oaks, the history of the homes added-on, the worn streets are more beautiful than they were 30 years ago. Allow change.

Embrace today.

If you enjoyed this blog, please utilize the other resources at http://www.neadinspiration.com/ and listen to Liz's radio show at http://www.desmoineslocallive.com/ called "Skywalk Talk," from 11:00-12:30 cst, M-F. Liz Nead is committed to helping you succeed!

Want More Happiness? The choice is yours!

Want More Happiness? The choice is yours!

(Check out Liz Nead's video at the bottom talking about your choice for happiess!)

Do you remember your parents lecturing you, telling you to eat your broccoli, that there were children that would beg for broccoli? Have you ever told yourself to be grateful, to stop complaining, that your life as bad as others, that you have no right to complain?

Does it work? Does it make you feel thankful for what you have right now? Of course not!

Sure, you might be grateful for a few moments, as you notice your blessings, your fortunate circumstances. Most of the time, though, it doesn’t take long before something else grabs your attention. Your eyes and mind turn to what you want, what you don’t have, what you wish for.

If you are not this person, you have known something like this. Someone who just can’t focus on what they have. It is always about what could be better. There is always a wrong to glimpse. A spoiler to ruin what could be a positive existence.

You will face both pleasant circumstances and challenging situations. Sometimes life will seem easy and in other moments life will be hard for you. No matter what you think about the greener grass on the other side of the fence surrounding your world, it is the same for everyone. You only have to dig to find the sameness of conditions.

The only difference between you and the rest of the world is your perspective. Yes, there are places that are not fun because of war, poverty, lack of education and oppressive leadership. Of course if you live in a cute little house in the suburbs, it would be a preferable situation to the woman who lives in a mud hut in Tanzania without running water or state of the art medical care. You would be surprised at what your Tanzanian friend might say about your food, your home, your world. You prefer it because you know it.

Your happiness will not come from looking at someone else and telling yourself you have it good. You cannot sooth your soul by reminding yourself of the people in another country who don’t have what you have. You won’t appreciate your healthy children more by seeing unhealthy children. You won’t love your home more if you go to a smaller home. Those perspectives are temporary. The antidote to “comparative happiness” is to go to a bigger house, better kids, a nice place to live and suddenly you will feel irritated and underserved.

No, the best way to grab the happiness that is yours is to choose happiness. To choose to look at your husband and see what you love. To allow yourself to enjoy your friends instead of wishing for something better. To touch the softness of your well-worn couch and choose to remember good memories. To make a point of remember good times not bad times.

I promise if you choose to see and give credit to the good in any situation, you will find your heart full of gratitude for what you have. And you will ask yourself, grass? What grass? I love my life. It is mine.

If you enjoyed this blog, please enjoy the other resources at www.neadinspiration.com and listen to Liz's radio show at www.desmoineslocallive.com called "Skywalk Talk," from 11:00 to 12:30 cst, M-F. Liz wants to help you succeed!

Jealousy...it's not such a bad thing!

Jealousy...it's not such a bad thing!

I felt a pang of jealously recently. I got my shot of jealousy from a usual source. Facebook is a place for people to show the shiny success of their life without betraying themselves with eye contact. Even though I understand the easy falsehood of social networking, I still felt it. That person was going to do something I have always wanted to do. I’m known for wanting it. If she reads this, she’ll know what I’m talking about. And it was not going to be me that did it first. It would be her. Jealousy. Gross.

The stomach turning feeling of wanting something that someone has is not due to any sort of systemic distaste for my own life. My existence is a wild ride, taking me from a career that used 25% of my talents and required 75% of my energy pretending to be something I’m not. Each day, I leap out of bed and I wonder, what will happen next? What serendipity is going to deliver me another phase of my dream? It’s like being passed a really great note from God in class.

All this sounds good, right? How could I be jealous when I am so excited about what is going to happen next?

The initial knee-jerk reaction to the adult on-set of jealousy is to take two pills. One is a pill of gratitude (get it together and start being thankful for what you have). The other is a little shot of denial. You can’t be jealous, that would be make you downright pathetic.

Jealousy, that thing that makes you want what something else has, isn’t to be exorcised. It should be examined because it is a sign. A sign that what you have is not enough. It could be that you are insecure about something. Or perhaps the jealousy is showcasing a need for you to DO something. In my case, I had not done the work to accomplish what this other person had done. So whose fault was it that she had reached the finish line first? It could be telling you that the life that you have is not enough and you need to expand your perspective and your reach to more fully challenge your talents, your tolerance for risk, your experience.

Don’t push off jealousy as a phase or a sign of weakness. Figure out what is it telling you and do what you need to do. That other person may have something you want. Go and get it for yourself. Change what you need to change, move where you need to move and face the fears in front of you.

Maybe then you can focus on what YOU are doing, instead of what someone else is experiencing. I guarantee it will be more fun.

For more helpful resources, go to www.neadinspiration.com or e-mail Liz’s team at neadinspiration@aol.com. Change Your Vision, Change Your Life!